Crime by Sign triffik idea Eric ... all my 'Brides' were Leo ♌️ so I have intimate know how: the ways all their nefarious shenanigans 'play' out ... and my own 5th house Sun always ensures 'crimes' are committed right under my nose and with lots of extravagant manes being flouted, touted and tossed.
ARES: War criminal from Bosnia or in charge of the tribunal at the Hague, arsonist or fire investigator, champion of women or target of the Me, Too, movement (his general arrogance hides a sensitive male soul). Ticketed by transit police for starting arguments in the subway; Major crime? Believing that he or she is always right and the rest of us are numb nuts. Often guilty of speeding. Thinking too fast and getting there ahead of everyone.
FIrst intergalactic arrest for tearing down flag on Chinese space station
Scorpio would wait until winter so to find an icicle. Sneak naked into the much hated sex offender’s bedroom in the dead of night on a new moon, and stab the monster in the heart three times. Then dispose of the body in a ditch in the snow with his penis planted firmly in his own mouth.
(Was that what you were asking for, Eric? Or maybe I went too far…😆)
April 11th, 1pm. Pursued man running south on Honesty st. Randomly hitting bystanders on head with sweet potato. When asked to halt replied, " I am what I yam". Lost him when he dropped Mars bar causing me to slip.
April 2nd, 2am. Called out to Placid Park. Woman, answering to Venus, according to bystander, sitting top of ladder smoking cannabis cigarette, drinking wine. Rope around neck attached to tree above. Asked to remove rope and come down. Replied, "I have". Ignoring this I told her this is a bad idea. She agreed and came down peacefully. Booked for causing a disturbance.
June 3rd, 3:30pm. Pursued man driving grey Mercury north on Main. Hazardous driving - switching lanes. Pulled along side to stop. When asked to raise hands replied, "I think.. not". Taken into custody awaiting ID.
(Obviously directly based on the police blotter and a tiny bit of thinking as to which signs they are).
ARES: War criminal from Bosnia or in charge of the tribunal at the Hague, arsonist or fire investigator, champion of women or target of the Me, Too, movement (his general arrogance hides a sensitive male soul). Ticketed by transit police for starting arguments in the subway; Major crime? Believing that he or she is always right and the rest of us are numb nuts. Often guilty of speeding. Thinking too fast and getting there ahead of everyone.
FIrst intergalactic arrest for tearing down flag on Chinese space station
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Pisces. Traffic tickets for merging too quickly at high speed
Crimes of passion— dying of love. Or misdeeds involving music. Killing me softly with his song
drownings in rivers oceans and buckets of own tears
Death by-booze pills food drink sex and wide eyed wonder( stepping off ledge of Grand Canyon to be one with the universe)
All wounds generally self inflicted
Rarely homicidal. Exceptions—anyone or anything that’s an affront to beauty.
a party full of flagrant wannabes.
In which case. Mental machine guns. Guests all stunned No weapons ever found:)
Here is the police blotter from the above sample
https://www.adirondackdailyenterprise.com/opinion/columns/you-know-what-local-history-by-howard-riley/2016/12/police-blotter-from-december-1942/
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Cancer:
Obscenity laws: Arrested at age 14, and every decade since, for skinny dipping until mistaken for a tree.
Con Artist: promoting New Age cult endorsed by famous actors (rhymes with John revolt-a and Tom news) with the tagline "Feel my finger!"
Traffic violations: driving into a fence post while ruminating on the spiritual journey of Siddhartha
Violating Social Taboos: Removed by usher for sobbing and hiccuping during last act of Traviata
Stalking victims in early life include: Charles Ludlum, Bette Midler, Jeff Bridges
Most recent arrest for inciting Mass Hysteria by performing "Let's Make a Salad" on the IRT.
Fashion Crime: Showing up at the Oscars in a fake butt
HAHAHA!
As a cancer rising myself, I admit to having cried with several operas, but I was safely at home, so no social taboo was violated.
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Crime by Sign triffik idea Eric ... all my 'Brides' were Leo ♌️ so I have intimate know how: the ways all their nefarious shenanigans 'play' out ... and my own 5th house Sun always ensures 'crimes' are committed right under my nose and with lots of extravagant manes being flouted, touted and tossed.
via email
ARES: War criminal from Bosnia or in charge of the tribunal at the Hague, arsonist or fire investigator, champion of women or target of the Me, Too, movement (his general arrogance hides a sensitive male soul). Ticketed by transit police for starting arguments in the subway; Major crime? Believing that he or she is always right and the rest of us are numb nuts. Often guilty of speeding. Thinking too fast and getting there ahead of everyone.
FIrst intergalactic arrest for tearing down flag on Chinese space station
I got another one: a Pisces was caught trying to hijack a PA system in a stadium with 250,000 people to reproduce South Park's infamous brown note.
A Virgo would be sterilizing and arranging sharp tools while he waits for the next subject to wake up from the anesthesia.
impersonating a medical doctor. uses his house as a fake Emergency 1 clinic
LOL!
Scorpio would wait until winter so to find an icicle. Sneak naked into the much hated sex offender’s bedroom in the dead of night on a new moon, and stab the monster in the heart three times. Then dispose of the body in a ditch in the snow with his penis planted firmly in his own mouth.
(Was that what you were asking for, Eric? Or maybe I went too far…😆)
It's a little woke...and a tad "cruel and unusual" however, long fictional yarns would be excellent.
April 11th, 1pm. Pursued man running south on Honesty st. Randomly hitting bystanders on head with sweet potato. When asked to halt replied, " I am what I yam". Lost him when he dropped Mars bar causing me to slip.
April 2nd, 2am. Called out to Placid Park. Woman, answering to Venus, according to bystander, sitting top of ladder smoking cannabis cigarette, drinking wine. Rope around neck attached to tree above. Asked to remove rope and come down. Replied, "I have". Ignoring this I told her this is a bad idea. She agreed and came down peacefully. Booked for causing a disturbance.
June 3rd, 3:30pm. Pursued man driving grey Mercury north on Main. Hazardous driving - switching lanes. Pulled along side to stop. When asked to raise hands replied, "I think.. not". Taken into custody awaiting ID.
(Obviously directly based on the police blotter and a tiny bit of thinking as to which signs they are).
Via email
ARES: War criminal from Bosnia or in charge of the tribunal at the Hague, arsonist or fire investigator, champion of women or target of the Me, Too, movement (his general arrogance hides a sensitive male soul). Ticketed by transit police for starting arguments in the subway; Major crime? Believing that he or she is always right and the rest of us are numb nuts. Often guilty of speeding. Thinking too fast and getting there ahead of everyone.
FIrst intergalactic arrest for tearing down flag on Chinese space station